“Every birth is beautiful and special. There’s never a birth where I’m like, ‘Well, that wasn’t as miraculous as I wanted it to be,’” says Lindsey Meehleis in the cheery Lake Forest office of Orange County Midwifery (ocmidwifery.com), which she founded in 2010. Meehleis, a 34-year-old sunny blonde who lives in Irvine with her husband, Darren, daughter, Dylyn, 13, and son River, 6, always wanted to work with children, but changed her trajectory after a “horrible” first birth experience. Her hospital stay was traumatic, full of medical interventions and ending in a cesarean section.

As a lactation consultant, a doula and now a midwife, Meehleis has been present at about 900 births, and at every one, she works to make sure other women don’t have the kind of experience she had. (She only takes low-risk clients and says that “there’s a time and a place for hospitals.”) Clients are not only guaranteed that Meehleis herself comes to their house when it’s time to give birth, but they’re also signing on for full prenatal and postpartum support. Two other midwives now work at the practice. “This isn’t a doctor’s appointment – It’s about so much more than just taking your blood pressure. It’s a therapy appointment, a nutritional counseling appointment, a date-with-your-girlfriend appointment. It’s about what’s going on in your day to day – how your relationship with your husband is, even back to what things in your childhood could affect your birth.”

What you won’t get at a birth are either of Meehleis’ kids. “Kid energy is great at births, but not my kids’ energy.” Not that Dylyn would even go if asked. “Now that she’s turned into a teenager, she’s like ‘Mom, you’re so gross.’” Meehleis shares every birth story on her Facebook and Instagram page. “I write from my heart and share my experiences so that people actually see that birth is normal. Giving birth (naturally) is not just a random fluke thing. It can happen for anyone that’s low risk.” 

What happens at a birth? "Most people like to labor in water, so we get the tub set up and wait for baby. We’re constantly checking on baby and mom and making sure everyone’s vitals are in normal limits. The first hour after the baby’s born is what I find to be the most sacred, and I protect that as much as I can. Every time you put a hat on the baby or listen to the baby with a stethoscope, you’re entering that bubble around mom and baby. I try to use my eyes more than my hands and I try to protect that space.”

What’s been your biggest struggle being a parent and doing this? “The uncertainty of not knowing if I’ll be there Christmas morning or birthday dinners. I can have five people due in a month and those five people give birth in a three-day period and I literally don’t come home for three days at a time.”

How do you share the duties of home with your husband? “There’s no possible way I could have this lifestyle if I didn’t have the support of my husband and my family. He works a full-time job from home and when I’m gone he’s Mr. Mom and takes care of the kids and the dogs.”

What do you do with your free time? “Being on call 24/7, there’s really no free time in the true essence of the word. So I have to physically take a month off at a time in order to get what I consider free time, where I can actually turn my phone off and detach from the outside world. It doesn’t matter if I’m sitting at home with my family doing nothing or if we’re sailing. Just full presence with my kids is the most important thing.”

Last book you read? “Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear’”

Favorite place in Orange County? “Crystal Cove. You’re transported to a different world almost.”

What would surprise us about you? “That I still cry at every birth.”

What about this does it for you? “This is not a job. This is a calling. It’s a blessing and a curse because I have the chance of being gone all night. What keeps me going is how women can take their power back and how I can be a facilitator for that. Because I’m not giving them their power – they’re finding their own power. I just get to be the person who holds that space and is blessed to watch everything miraculously unfold the way it’s supposed to.”

Protect The Golden Hour After Birth

BY LINDSEY MEEHLEIS

Think of how mammals treat their babies after birth. Your cat might give birth unobserved, int he middle of the night after the family has gone to bed. As her kittens are born, she removes their amniotic sacs and slowly lets them find their source of food on their own. She doesn’t pry open their mouths and help them latch; they instinctively do it by themselves. Fast forward to the way we see births in movies and on TV. First comes screaming and drama, then we see cords immediately cut, and babies whisked off to warming tables for deep suctioning. For most of history, we didn’t have scissors ready in the cave, nor did we have warming tables or deep suctioning. Sometimes these life-saving techniques are necessary, but they are not always required.

By slowing this period down, suctioning only when necessary, and keeping the cord intact until it physiologically closes on its own (see AlanGreen’s Ted Talk at http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Alan-Greene-at-TEDxBrussels), we keep the mother-baby unit attached while the placenta remains unbirthed. This requires Baby to stay in constant skin-to-skin contact with Mom. Babies are born with the innate instinct to find the breast on their own, like kittens are. They have a natural suck reflex, and the nipple secretes a scent that mimics amniotic fluid, which also creates a drive to find their food source. 

Here are my tips for keeping the golden hour sacred:

1. In your birth plan, ask for lower lights and quiet voices.

2. Ask to "catch" your own baby. The best reward for all the handwork for childbirth can be lifting your baby up onto your chest.

3. Request optimal cord closure (or delayed cord clamping). You will see the cord physically pulsate, giving the baby blood rich in ion, stem cell and oxygen. Some teaching hospitals are purchasing resuscitation tables that allow the cord to stay intact if resuscitation is required because research is revealing the importance of oxygen-rich blood. 

4. If your baby is pink and crying, stimulation or drying are not needed. Request that the hospital room be kept warmer before giving birth. 

5. Allow baby to naturally "crawl" to the breast. Breastfeeding doesn't need to be initiated immediately after birth. Research shows that babies process things seven times more slowly than we do. So give them time; they will usually head toward the breast within 30 minutes of birth.

6. No visitors the first hour. I promise Grandma and Grandpa will get all their baby cuddling in, but this first hour after birth is really about meeting your baby and nursing. 

7. Delay all routine newborn procedures. Hospitals usually like to give eye ointment and vitamin K within two hours of birth, but you can delay the bath until you are home. 

8. Don't worry if you are having a cesarean birth. You can still protect the golden hour. Just call it the golden two hours. Request to see and hold your baby in the operating room. Dad can sit skin to skin with baby in the recovery room while you are being wheeled in. Once you are settled in the recovery room, all of the above recommendations apply. Uncover your baby, remove that hat and explore your child. Let him or her crawl toward your breast.

Lindsey Meehleis, Licensed Midwife, is the owner of OC Midwifery (ocmidwifery.com)